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Running into a lawyer’s private office, a butcher yelled angrily, "If a dog steals a hunk of meat from my shop, is his owner obligated to pay?"
"Of course!" replied the lawyer.
"Okay then, your dog just stole half a rack of ribs worth £20 from my shop.
"Give him the other half," said the lawyer, "and it will cover my consultation fee."
" ONE EYED BLONDE "
two blondes are walking dowen the road when one says " look at that one eyed dog"
the other blonde covers one of her eyes and says " WHERE"
"Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend"
"So, have you figured what to buy the Missus for Christmas?" asked Brady. "I, sure have, she decided it for me," answered Paddy. "She said she wanted something with diamonds in it, so I've bought her a pack of cards."
"How To Make A Pensioner Swear"
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
"Another Smart Blonde"
What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
